body:being:whole

My Body as History

If you like history then you can appreciate how the body can be seen as a map of your life, a diary if you like or for those of you more logistically inclined, a flowchart of your existence.

On days where I allow myself to be human in every three dimensional sense of the term, I catch episodes of Dr. 90210, just because. People getting liposuction, tummy tucks, breast augmentation and a plethora of other procedures to sculpt and basically change the way a person looks, and often claims of how a person will feel about themselves after the procedures.

I have learned thru several episodes to not judge what I see and what they do. Often it can be challenging, but a show like this can be used as practice for being non-judgemental. A practice we all can benefit from.

This brings to mind definitions of what a perfect body actually is. Often, people's perception of a perfect body has been formed from consistent manipulation by the media of what is acceptable and what is not. Sadly, this misconception largely focuses on the physical aspects of a person and this focus often leaves out the many other features and body types that are associated by other races.

Media mind-play allows people to envision their physical bodies into a certain prototype that is usually not attainable by natural means. They often undergo artificial modes to achieve that mediahyped perfection.

As I look down at my body, the few folds of skin and fat that makes the scar from a c-section slightly crooked, I smile.

It seems now, that the c-section scar is the only physical proof that my son Jordan ever did exist.

Being me, I believe that his soul and spirit always was and always will be. The removal of the scar will never remove the truth that he ever was. But I like history. Call me sentimental, but I like the scar I have that runs not horizontally, as in a bikini line but vertically. The scar brings to me very real memories of moments of a time in my life when Jordan was created, where he grew and when he entered this world.

As I am not one to fixate on any 'thing', nor am I one to be attached to any material, emotion or other, I find that this scar is a mark of my 'humaness' and from there I am anchored to this three dimensional plane, ever seeking a way to get out.

6.6.06 10:29